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  • Zhanna R Lee

YES and NO in your body.

Updated: Apr 24

With some men I feel like I want to like them so badly, but it's only my mind that wants it...


With other men I feel like my body wants them, but my mind is: "Hell No!"


With others my heart is open. Yet I can't even access my body's feelings, or my mind is on the rollercoaster...


In the Wheel of Consent practices, we talk about "listening to your body" when finding your answer about involving with others.


Our body has its own wisdom. Yes, it can overreact based on previous trauma (Polyvagal theory is excellent at unpacking it).... Yet if we want to experience a real intimacy and pleasure, we can't ignore it!


We have to be patient with it, because if we don't, we are doomed to keep making wrong decisions, or get retraumatized...


That's why when I meet a man who gives me all the time in the world to feel into my whole self, someone steady in his presence and his feelings, it gives me the real hope.


My body goes "Ahhhhhh", as I can finally access myself fully, and find my real answers!


And here is the scale of the potential answers we discussed this Sunday at the Wheel of Consent workshop :)


YES: Yes, I want... - Yes please! - Yes, I am willing

- Yes, with these limits...


MAYBE: I am curious. Tell me more...- I don't know...- I feel uncertain


NO: No, not now - No, thank you - No!


Want to learn more about the Wheel?

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