• Zhanna R Lee


Updated: May 19

What makes a good lover?

Have you ever asked yourself this question?

Imaging a huge colorful field of Pleasure…

But to get there you must pass through a certain “door”.

And there are FIVE of them.

The trick is to find the one that will open easily for you. Versus trying to break through someone’s…

The first door called Energetic.

If you tend to feel more with less touch, value space and presence, get turned on with longing, and can ‘short-circuit’ with too much touch or stimulation - this is your “door”!

The second one is Sensual

If you enjoy losing yourself in all of the senses – music, surroundings, textures, taste, yet need a lot of time to get out of your head and fully relax into your body – this is yours!

The third door called Sexual

This one might sound “stereotypical” … Naked bodies, penetration, certainty of orgasm, SX is simple and fun, and everybody has to have it all the time! Do you know anyone like this? 😊 Don’t worry if not – this is only one out of five Blueprints!

The fourth one is Kinky.

If you find yourself getting turned on by naughtiness, something that occurs to you as “forbidden”, love mind play, or getting lost in fantasy – this might be your “door”! You can allow yourself to be adventurous, or suppressed by shame – the choice is yours…

And finally – the Shapeshifter

Shapeshifter is a combination of all the four Blueprints! If you like lots of sensation at once, novelty, can and want to experience pleasure in many ways – this must be you. Downside? You can usually “shift” your preferences for your partners, but they can’t always return the favor…

I know that for some people it can be a lot to think of sex as something that vast.


One of my favorite coaches used to say: “How you show up in {this program/project} is how you show up in life.

I believe that it can be said: how we show up in sex is how we show up in life.

What makes it a good lover?

Hands down – willingness to learn! Both about yourself, and your partner!:)

Want to talk about learning new things?



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