• Zhanna R Lee


Updated: Apr 24

I've read an article not long ago about how watching mainstream porn affects men’s perception on sex and women’s perception on pleasure. How men learn early on that being a good lover means having a hard on all the time, and women learn that being desirable by men is all that matters…

I also re-listened one of Allison Armstrong’s courses recently, where she is talking about women’s instinctual side (she calls it “a cave woman”) that can’t help but feel inferior to men in terms of their ability to survive. No matter how much money we make, or how physically strong we are, the instinct tells us – you, as a woman, need a protector! Therefore, we compelled to please a man, vs focus on our own pleasure.

Do you have sex in your life?

What kind of sex?

Are you having it with yourself, or with your partner?

Is it sex for pleasure? Connection (even if with yourself)? Recreation? Stress release?

Are you even aware of any of those intentions? :)

If you have a partner – are you clear of: “Who is this for?” when you reach out to touch them?

My experience as a sex coach and a lover teaches me that we always have an intention (realized or not).

Very often though that intention is not aligned with our partner’s (realized or not).

Yet - we assume.

And - we often do not have a “language” to either articulate what we want, or to ask our partner...

There is one beautiful and powerful tool I know that helps to create these conversation:

The Wheel of Consent practices.

Feel free to explore it yourself, or ask for my support!

*DELICIOUS : affording great pleasure

*EXPANSION : the act or process of expanding : great extent of something spread out






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